You've noticed by now...
...the post that haven't been written
...the flashbacks that haven't been posted
...the stories that haven't been told
But I think you deserve to hear it from me. You guys deserve an ending that is thoughtful and respects all the time you've poured into this blog and into my little corner of the world. After nearly 2 years I'm putting this little blog to rest. And after nearly 2 years of reading along on your part, I hope you'll indulge me for just a few more minutes...
Reasons Why
A few weeks ago I went to PodCamp and sat in seminars about all things blogging and online. It turns out a weekend I thought you reignite my blogger's heart actually ended up giving me peace about walking away.
Every seminar harped on one issue over & over... WHY? Why are you blogging at all? Why did you start? And the answer to that question should drive all the when's and who's and how's. The truth is, my why doesn't apply anymore.
I started Heya, Sparky! because I felt like there was a fire in me that had gone out. In order to get it back I wanted a way to document the good in life on a daily basis and remind myself of all the things that helped to spark that fire. And it worked for a long time. I have loved sharing pieces of my life on here, telling stories about nothing and the biggest things and the weird things and the everyday things. It helped to teach myself how to be happy again after losing grip during a crazy time. Now that WHY is a habit whether I document it or not... it's turned from a blog theme to a way of thinking, which is a really good place to be in.
But lately it's started to swing the other way. The blogger's guilt. It's not as easy to set aside time, and so when I do post it's not as good as I want it to be. And then I feel almost as bad as if I hadn't posted at all. There are so many people I've met here that I adore, the last thing I want is for this to be a place where I'm resentful and hurried and unappreciative. So it's time to let it go.
In the Meantime
I want to be a better reader. I want to pour the time I do have into OTHER people and their nooks of the blog world. I haven't been as good a friend as others have been to me, and it's time to reverse this.
I want to create things, make my home beautiful, and cook special meals.
I'll be running again. In fact Tink & I are training for a very big, long, terrifying race. Barring any injuries, major life changes, or bouts of actual sanity, we'll be training for a half marathon in the Spring. Yikes!
And I'll be investing in my church. Every Wednesday there's a group of the most wonderful people you'll ever meet sitting in my living room, talking about God & life & people & world suck & hope. There are books to be read, study to happen, and people to love... & I can't think of a better way to spend my time.
A Final Request
I don't know if this will be forever. I still have plans for "someday" and all the things it could hold. A little handmade shop, a new adventure, or even just another WHY for another time. Something tells me that eventually I'll be back, although probably not under the Sparky name. But it would mean a lot to me if you'd keep this little blog on your reader so that when that day happens I have a way to tell you.
Ok. Deep breathe. This is the hardest part....
Thank you for being here. From times when I was deliriously happy to times when I was a wreck, you guys have added to the joy in my life in unexpected volumes. I will still be around, but as "just Lauren" for now. No amount of bold or italic font would be able to hold the weight of these next three words so I hope that somehow you understand everything they're trying to say:
I'll miss you.
much love,
Lauren
p.s. For you amazingly loyal Flashbackers, I don't want to leave you high & dry. So I'm handing you off to another
Flashback host. I promise she'll take you in & give you a good home & love you just as much. (well maybe not as much as me, but pretty darn close)
