Why I Waddle

"Now if you are going to win any battle you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. The body will always give up. It is always tired in the morning, noon, and night. But the body is never tired if the mind is not tired." 

- George S. Patton

If you see me anytime soon, you might notice a slight waddle. That's because I am SORE! This is what happens when you run a race on sheer willpower & no training. But in a weird, twisted kind of way I'm feeling pretty proud that I just forced myself to run 5 miles without being prepared! I was giving myself a 35% chance of dying on the course & had memorized the medic stops on my leg of it, but I surprised myself with the lack of drama once I started running. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy, but I didn't even get close to dying. (Ok at one point I apparently lost control of my volume & quite audibly let out a "F*** this hill" & 5 other runners turned around to stare at me.... but that's as bad as it got, I promise.)

After I finished but before the sore muscles fully kicked in, Tink & I entertained the idea of a half marathon next year. Hmmmmm? If I can run 5 miles with no training, could I run run 13 if I had the discipline? I haven't fully decided or committed to anything, but the possibility is out there.

But while I mull over the what-if's of my abilities, allow me brag about concrete evidence of my achievement. MY SNEAKERS ARE TOTALLY WORN OUT. That probably don't sound like a positive, but it means I've put in more miles than they can handle, & it's an awesome feeling. They were my first major running investment & I used to check out the bottoms after every run to see my progress, silly as that sounds. So R.I.P. my bright pink NewBalances. You've served me well.

Week 43

I only have about a month & a half to be ready for my 5 mile leg of my relay team... & I'm totally NOT ready. Yesterday I ran 2 intervals of 1 mile each. On a normal day I'd feel good about that, but knowing that it's not where I need to be gives me a little panic. So today's flashback is to remind me of what accomplishment feels like, to remind me of how hard I worked for that accomplishment, & my mantra "Pain is weakness LEAVING the body!".

This was my first race. A 5k in the dead of winter last year....

 

Monday Morning

(source: We Heart It)

It's only taken 5 years in the working world, but I've finally had the PERFECT Monday Morning. (No, I didn't take the day off. ha That'd be cheating) It's a combination of the perfect mix CD & my "Be Better" for Lent plan.

Why did it take me so long to realize I absolutely hate my alarm clock? I finally switched to one with a CD player & asked my wonderful friend & master of mixtapes, Emma, if she would burn me a morning mix. She took so much care to pick songs that start soft & then energize, seriously it's like every track, so I don't startle awake anymore & hate the world. And the variety... oh baby... everything from Kanye & Jay-Z to Red Hot Chili Peppers to Indie I've never heard of before but am falling in love with. If mixtapes were a job Emma would be a millionaire.

Once I finished my little bed dance party (that sounds dirty... I'm just talking about jamming to my mix before I face the world haha) I had to pack up all my food for the day. So I actually COOKED before 7am, had an amazing breakfast & brought a lunch I can actually be excited for.

These next 2 weeks will be a test for me. I'm moving to a bigger apartment at the end of the month & I really need to push my running training to get back on track. So between packing, cleaning & running, I anticipate a lot of tired... hopefully a solid morning plan like this will help to get me through.

Ladies Night

Did you immediately start singing the 70's song & imagine me out on the town with the girls, martinis in hand, trolling for eligible bachelors? haha Sorry, it's not that kind of ladies night...

That's right, ladies night at the rock climbing wall! If you need to replace "Ladies Night" with a different song now that you have all the information, I'd suggest Miley Cyrus "The Climb". But that's just my opinion.

This is the 2nd week of rock climbing on Wednesdays. It's all part of my "How to kick winter's ass" plan... which is 1 part hot tea, 1 part literature, 2 parts active, & a generous dash of good friends. Speaking of good friends, let me show you 3 reason why Jen is amazing:


If you need a 4th reason why she's amazing (as if being so badass that your skin rips from your hand out of pure fear wasn't enough) (ok so it's actually from friction. whatever...), she's also running a 1/2 marathon this Saturday. Tell her how amazing she is if you get the chance, please. I'm not quite as fine of a physical specimen, but I carry my weight. (no, literally...) I was really scared the first time & wasn't even convinced I'd get up the wall at all. But I did. And I still have an "Oh sh*t, what did I get myself into" moment every time I reach the top & realize I have to get down, but I somehow manage that too.


Oh yes it's ladies night, oh what a night. (oh what a night...)

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p.s. Does anyone have the ability to "mash-up" songs like they do on Glee? If we did a mash-up of Ladies Night AND The Climb I would be so excited I'd probably pee. Let me know if you actually have those kind of skills. That's all.

Real Food

I'm 3 days into a week long food challenge... only eat real food, unprocessed with nothing unnatural added. It was Mark's idea but we had very different motivations to challenge ourselves. His mostly revolved around wanting to cook big meals with friends from scratch. Mine more revolved around being healthy. I hate to cook & I'm lazy. But I'm hoping that a week long struggle to force myself into planning & cooking fresh things might shift my habits a little. So a visit to the farmer's market was definitely in order.

Doesn't that all look delish?

Last night I made portabellas stuffed with quinoa, broccoli, zucchini, & pepper. I should have taken pictures but I was so proud of myself I just ate it right up! I'm not a great cook... that's quite an understatement... so I'm particularly proud of myself right now.

Yes that is bread you see above, but we're counting anything that has all natural ingredients... things our great-grandparents would recognize as food. So I had a loooong talk with the guy at the market (much to his chagrin, I'm sure) who promised me the flour was unbleached & met all the rest of my standards too. Thank goodness because I don't do well without carbs. Or coffee. Carbs & coffee, mmm.... (Lauren, focus!)

This challenge is coming at the perfect time for me. I'm feeling a little emotional about food. Do you guys ever get like that? I think my friend Emma pointed it out to me how food struggles are harder than most because it's not like you can avoid eating the same way you can avoid bars if you struggle with drinking. You have to eat, but eating right takes so much planning & effort & time in the kitchen. Then again if I devote that much time I start to go a little crazy & over analyze everything & feel guilty about any screw ups, which is also no good & unhealthy. It's a balance.

I guess this is all coming to a head because my Dad is having heart trouble. He'll be just fine, don't worry folks, now that we know what's going on it's all under control. And as it turns out it's more electrical than health related, but for a few days I was SURE this was because he doesn't eat healthy. Beyond doesn't eat healthy, he actually criticizes me when I do eat healthy. Teases me about being on a diet, which I don't consider eating right a new diet... it's just eating. And then a few days later will criticize my weight. What the heck... do you want me to loose weight or eat Chinese Buffet with you because really I can't do both. And at the same time he's diabetic & has had 2 strokes which makes me pretty certain he's going to kill himself with food. So when this new heart thing showed up I was SURE this is the beginning of his downward spiral. Turns out it's not, but it still shook up a lot of emotion. (I'm not even sure I should be sharing all this, but it's how I'm feeling & I'll try to trust you guys with that.)

So it's good timing that for at least this week I have a plan. It'll help me avoid all kinds of emotional eating (overeating, undereating, comfort foods, no calorie/no nutrition foods, the whole spectrum... unlike TV not everyone dives into a tub of Ben & Jerry's when they're emotional.) And like I said at the beginning, I'm hoping to instill some new habits that will last beyond this week. I'm feeling really good about this week-long plan. Day 3 out of 7... check!

The Good & The Bad

Well I'm not doing a whole lot of "Shaping Up" with Aly, but I'm doing pretty darn good on the "Loving Lauren" plan. I didn't meet my running goals (or even try them, to be honest) nor the spinach goals. BUT there were some good things worth mentioning...

1. I swam twice this week. Not laps, just recreational, but it was still good exercise


2. That means I was in a bathing suit in front of people TWICE this week. And I must say, I did it with confidence even in mixed company. I'm pretty proud of that.


3. I did major amounts of laundry so now all my workout clothes are looking pretty & begging me to use them


4. I faced the scale... & it wasn't so bad. I'm not sure where I got this idea that I'm spiraling out of control & exploding right in front of my own eyes, but I'm apparently not. Maybe it's just because I'm not running & don't feel as good, but I'm only 3 lbs heavier than my last run 2 months ago. 3 lbs? Pshhhhh...

But not everything went perfectly

• Get-Go Cookies... YOU'RE ON NOTICE! Why do you have to be so delicious? You're just gas station cookies, who do you think you are being so buttery & soft? HUH? Are you laced with crack, is that why I can't resist your charms? Well enough is enough! Forget on notice, you're DEAD TO ME. And there's no coming back from that list.

While I'm at it, I'd like to update a few other folks who made it on my list:

• Kia, there's no need for you to be parked at the TOP of my driveway. There are 3 spots at the bottom for your use & mine, but when you park at the top no one can go in or out. Except you. And what makes you do special, Kia? I don't care if you're newer or cleaner than my Altima, we will NOT be treated like second class citizens of this driveway!


• To my upstairs neighbors, you need to CALM DOWN about the laundry. If my load finished while I'm at the store, you don't have permission to remove it. I think the courtesy rule is a business day. If you come back tomorrow & it's still there, or check in the morning & it's still there after work, FINE . But that's never gonna happen, so you need to chill with all your hostility & laundry aggression. (Not to mention you left clothes in the drier for 3 days the first week I lived there & I was patient... just saying)

I don't have shape-up goals for this week except for this one: Make good decisions.

A Love Affair

For the people we love we will....

• put them first


• give up time


• want the best for them


• tell them regularly that they're loved


• go out of your way


• sacrifice

Well I'm entering a new love affair... with myself. And I'm willing to do all of the above for me for a change. This isn't necessarily about weight loss goals, it's more along the lines of loving me & treating me right goals.

Things are best when you don't go at it alone, so I'm linking up with blog buddy Alyssa over at "AlyGatr's Everywhere".

I'll start out small this week because it's surprising how quickly something intended for good turns in to failure & self-loathing... neither of which are on the Loving Lauren plan. So this week's goals are:

• Run 3 times before the next shape-up post on Wednesdays


• Finish the spinach in the fridge before it spoils


• Wear big earrings, they bring confidence

Where the Normal People Run

I have to admit it, I fell off the running wagon... already.

I could blame it on a lot of things:

• I'd have to drive to somewhere flat to run again


• Running buddy Tink works different hours & we don't live 4 blocks apart


• Coach Jen is in North Dakota for the summer

But all those are just excuses, I know exactly where I went wrong. It was the phrase "We'll take it easy for the summer & just run when we feel like it." Tink & I had been in constant training for the past 8 months & it took us that long to work up to 5.5 miles. We ran through the entire winter when we were the only crazies out there. We toughed it out through the early spring & the appearance of the dreaded spandex models. We set goals & we reached them... 5k, longer training, then our marathon relay lengths. We finally got to the point where I felt comfortable saying "I'm a runner" rather than just "I'm learning to run" or "I just started running"... no, I WAS A RUNNER.

And then we just stopped.

And you know why? Because when does anyone ever feel like running? I'll tell you... when they're stressed & need a break & a clear head & to feel good about themselves. But guess what, Lauren, if you don't run for an entire month like a dummy you don't get any of those things. It doesn't feel like a break, it feels like death. No clear head, just hurting lungs. And feel good about yourself? Forget about it.

Now it's summer & everyone's running. The normal people have emerged... not just models, but regular people! And I want to run with them too! So it's time to get back on the wagon, & yes that means making another training schedule & sticking to it. It means carving out time in my day where I run without the option to make excuses. And it means driving down the mountain to somewhere flat when I'd rather blog. But what I do love about running is how forgiving it is... to start again just follow these steps: put on shoes & run.

Running the City of Bridges

Sunday I was 1 of 16,000 people with 1 goal in mind... 26 miles. The Pittsburgh Marathon.

Ok don't get too excited, I was actually on a relay team with 4 other newbie runners. It kind of feels like cheating to say I ran in the marathon because there were thousands of runners who really did run the full 26.2 miles, I can't even begin to compare myself to them. But it was awesome to be a part of something so big!

There are definitely major perks that they don't just save for the big-time runners:

• Swag: dryfit shirt & socks, bag, energy bars & gels, sneaker balls, coupons, even rice & biscotti in our gift bags


• Food: After the finish line they don't stop handing you bananas, oranges, cookies, gatorade, sandwiches, etc.


• The Crowd: there were bands, cheerleaders, & tons of "fans" who love to yell "You're looking good!", "Great job!", "Keep it up, you're awesome!". I know they yelled it to everyone, but I liked to smile & wave like they were there just for me. Some of them actually WERE for me, thanks Emma & Neil!


• THE GLORY: I ran the final leg of the race which means finish line. And a medal!

Maybe not everything was glorious... like waking up at 5:30 am, the pouring rain, & of course the bomb threat. Regardless I'll probably remember is as such a fun & amazing day. A personal highlight was running into Jeff, who was running the full marathon, & getting someone to hang out with for 4 miles.

If you would have asked me last year if I'd ever run a race the answer would have been NEVER. I just ran in the biggest race our city has! I feel good... real good. Next I think I'll take the summer easy but schedule a 10k for the end of summer so I can't relax all together. Here's to small accomplishments that make a BIG impact on my heart.

Fail

Yesterday I had the worst run ever. Lately I haven't been doing well just in general, but yesterday took the cake. After our February 5k Tink & I had increased distance a bit up to 4 miles, with the goal of 5.24 miles by May for our Marathon Relay Team. Then out of nowhere, some time around 2 weeks ago, I couldn't even finish our usual 3 miles that we've been doing routinely for months. What the heck?

So I started yesterday in a funk from the beginning knowing how poorly I'd been running the past week or so, plus I was running alone for the first time in a while, PLUS all the spandex models who were apparently hibernating & getting skinnier all winter were out full force. (It's really easy to feel hardcore when you're the only crazy people running in the snow... not so much when surrounded my models who could kick your ass.) I have no idea why this effected me the way it did but before I knew it (sometime between my 1st & 2nd walk breaks) I was this runny, gross, crying AND running mess of a person. I can only imagine what went through the mind of anyone who passed me.

It was bad.

After starting up my jog... again... after the 2nd break, I finally decided "this is just dumb" & walked the rest of the way. It's the first time in my life I ever felt good about quitting. I started thing whole running thing to have a healthier body & get some clarity of mind, & I wasn't getting either of those yesterday. So instead of beating myself up any further... I stopped. I'm thinking of taking the rest of the week off. Obviously my body hates this right now, & so does my head. So maybe I'll give them both a vacation from the running. Blah....

My First Race

Maybe "race" is too strong of a word for Sunday's run... it implies competitiveness & winners vs. losers. I don't think any of that took place, at least not within the little group of Couch-To-5k-ers we had running that morning. It was the first 5k for all of us: me, Tink: my running buddy, Rebecca: coworker, Danielle: facebook group member, & Michael: random dude.

Or maybe I just say all this because I'm not actually good at running & want to feel better! haha No, I honestly can say I don't care about competition, that's not why I started this. I just wanted to do something to get me out of my house, keep some sanity, relieve stress, & be healthy... as it turns out I got even more than that from it. I got something I can be proud of myself for. And I got a crazy little community of supporters! It's like this strange secret society & once you're in, word gets around to the other members, & they all want to talk about running & support each other. It's awesome. And it doesn't matter that I am s-l-o-w & not running far, the point is: you're a runner & so am I.

Can you feel the love?



As soon as we got to church (we sure weren't winning any medals so we didn't stick around after the race & actually made it to church on time) I was flooded by support, love, & lots of questions about our very first race. Why would people running half-marathons care about our dinky 3.2 miles? Because they're runners & so am I... sort of. And maybe because we all know what it's like to one day say "Hey, I think I should be a runner" & then follow through with it even though it feels like death the majority of the time.

So does it matter that I came in 109th place? hahaha Not really.

Does it matter that Tink & I came in LAST of all the people who actually ran the whole time? Nope.

Does it matter than we did run the whole time? Or that we were even in the race while thousands of people slept? ABSOLUTELY.



One Final Note:

Want to be awesome 13 minute mile runners like us (that's a joke in case you're not in the club... that's slow) you're going to need some motivation. Here's a few of our mottos:

"You have to make the mind run the body" which turned into randomly yelling "You don't make the rules, body!" or "Suck it, body!"

"Pain is weakness leaving the body"... learned that from my military science class Hooah!

"Feels so good" code for: I feel like I might die. This is where we got our sorority from: feels so good = phi sigma gamma

"That's so hardcore" code for: we must be freaking nuts

5k Rescheduled

Our 5k is finally here! After months of training in the cold, & after postponing for Snowmageddon, we're finally going to run this thing! It's been moved to a Sunday so I understand if we don't have fans & glitter signs, we won't be upset. But just in case you're still interested, here are the details of where we'll be shaking it:

Sunday, February 28th - 10am

Riverfront Trail @ Heinz Quay

Use Parking Lot 2, there will be volunteers in red shirts to direct you

And I want to take a second to do a big THANK YOU to my friends who rock my socks off. When our 5k race got postponed I only informed the locals who I thought would come, so on the day of our race I got this huge outpouring of love from everyone who thought we were still running that day. haha Oops! You guys are way more supportive that I would have ever imagined. It seriously warms my heart. So thank you very very much for the e-cards, facebooking, txting & calls... I love you all so very much!

Race Details

1 week til our first race! Here are a few details for all you loyal supporters:

Saturday, February 13th

10 am

Riverfront Park
375 North Shore Drive

"Cupid's Chase" 5k

(& believe me... when we chase him down it's gonna get ugly)

C25K

"What Have You Done Today To Make You Feel Proud?" 

Well I'll tell you... today I graduated from C25k!!! It's a 9  week (0r 11 in our case) running program that's supposed to take you from the couch to running a 5K. And believe me, I was planted very solidly in the couch end of that spectrum. Basically, here's what my progression looked like:



12 weeks ago I was on my friend Allison's couch watching The Biggest Loser & jamming the the theme song when she jokingly asked me those very lyric: What have you done today to make you feel proud? Well crap. Nothing.

11 weeks ago at Cambodican with Tink eating seafood wontons I said "Hey, do you wanna run?" Of course she laughed at me, wouldn't you? I don't remember the exact conversation but somehow we went from "Yeah right!" to "See you on Tuesday to run." Thus began our C25K journey.

10 weeks ago... death. Can't breathe. Hurt everywhere. Oh dear Lord, make it stop. Embarrassment... & that was only for 60 SECOND INTERVALS! But we had determination (& just to make sure there was no way to wimp out, we told everyone we know.) I told Jeff about our running program & he immediately was like "You should sign up for the half-marathon in May!" Ha! Oh ouch, I'm too sore from 60 seconds of running to laugh!!

1 week ago we took this picture at Dunkin Donuts celebrating running the full distance of a 5k for the first time!



We're runners.

(yes, we do understand that donuts negate all the work we just did... so does our usual ice cream reward... but I like to think we're just training Pavlov style. Mmm running is delicious...)

I'll admit that this has never been easy... not 1 step of the way. Calf pain, dodging dog poop & roadkill, the geese by the river trail who hiss at you & chase you, snow storms... it's been... *sigh* it's been... great. Seriously, I've loved it! I mean,  I still feel like death at least once during any given run, but it can't stop us! Know why? Because we're runners.

January 23rd, 2010: Graduation from C25K

February 13th, 2010: Our First 5K Race. (fans & supporters with glitter signs welcome at the finish line)

There's still no way I'm running a half-marathon by May... we may be runners, but we're not delusional. But maybe a relay-team marathon? We'll see... Next up is a little speed training until our race & then on to 10k training! Bring it. We're runners.

I'd like to thank the Academy...

Tink & I have some sincere thanks to hand out. We have this ridiculous support system that I would never have expected for 2 people just trying to get up to what "normal" people can run. Jen, thanks for being a great trainer while we were constantly convinced we would die. Emma, thanks for helping us push ourselves farther. Sarah, Jeff, Erin, Rebecca, Allison, John, the Facebook group & so so many others, thanks for all the moral support & for never laughing when we only ran for a minute at a time! Love you guys.

Sore knees, happy heart.